A family that is very dear to me is in a great deal of pain today, after losing their much-hoped for new member before they could even get to know them. I am devastated for them, and I am stuck on the far side of the continent, unable to help or hug or make dinner or just sit and be a loving presence and witness to their grief. Pea and I are grieving with them. I am hurting for my sister, who had a harrowing day alone yesterday, in a situation where no one should ever have to be alone. I am in pain, and I am profoundly sad.
It is not fair. It is not right. There is nothing I can do to fix or change this. I wish there was something I could do to help. I really should endeavour to stop crying sporadically in my office, but I cannot really see the point.
lab book update: I’ve definitely ovulated, likely last night. I’m glad I made it back in time, but, frankly, am not in a very good place when it comes to the reproductive aspects of life. I have an appointment with the fertility clinic next Thursday (my referral went through, and the clinic is already 100x more responsive than my ob/gyn), so I guess things will continue to move along.