the inimitable contrariness of my brain

My thought process in the past week.

Wed. last: “Golly gee*, that is a lot of EWCF.  Even though I promised to take a break, let me just pee on this opk.  Ah.. negative, ok, business as usual then.”

Thurs.: “So. Much. CF.  Good grief!  I shall pee again on these tiny sticks of ovulatory wisdom!  Ah… slightly darkened.  Cautious optimism seems called for, so I’m going to instead go into full blown excitement.”

Fri: “Again!  Again!  We demand more tests!  Ah HA!  Almost sort of positive!  Well well, this is exciting indeed!”

Sat.: “Early, so early, hope plane does not crash.  Cramps must mean I’m ovulating, huzzah! No time to test for clues.”

Sun.: “Jet lag has depressed my temperature.  Or maybe yesterday was my positive opk day and I missed it, and I’m ovulating today instead! Ta da!”

Mon.: “Jet lag could still depress my temperature… it was up a little from yesterday.. hmmm.. plus I’m dry as a bone!  Except for that EWCF, but we won’t count that because I surely already ovulated!  Never mind my cervix position as high and open!”

Tues.: “Ok, well, probably then I didn’t ovulate if my temperature is still so low… huh. I was so sure.  Oooooh, look, lots of EWCF, probably I am ovulating TODAY!”

Wed.: “Ok.  You need to remember that you had a 110 day cycle that one time.  And in it you had no fewer than 90 days of EWCF.  Your cervical crypts are, at very least, not the problem here.  Get over yourself.”

Grumble.  I can’t believe I keep falling for this ruse!  Two more days of rubella immunity waiting, and three more days of vacation.  I’m scheduling my random ultrasound appointment for early next week.  On the road, this show shall go.


*I don’t actually say golly gee, but I often wish I were the kind of person who would.


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