I know my rival and her name is Lydia. Or possibly John.

Conversations with Pea:

Pea: “Ok, I’m off to make sure Skyrim is safe for when we move there!”  (Skyrim being an elaborate computer-generated world)

Me: “Oh, have you built us a cabin yet?”

Pea: “No, but I bought a house!”

Me: (with remembrance of other games) “Wait, do you have a wife?!”

Pea: looks awkward “No!    …     …     …     I have a fiancee!”

Me: “What!?  What is her name?!”

Pea: long pause. frantic memory search *triumphantly* “Lydia!  But don’t worry, we’re just engaged”

*Said as I am literally replacing my engagement ring on my finger*

Me: stern and unforgiving look mixed with giggles

Pea: “It’s not like there is courtship!  They just ask me if I will marry them, and I say ‘uhhh yup’ and they say ‘good, go talk to that lady to sort out the details’ and I say ‘ok, I will, but later’.  I’m engaged to lots of people!  Even some boys!”

Me: “This is not really helping your case.”

At least this is not Fable.  In Fable, there were strong incentives for you to take your wife out back into the woods and kill her. Pea was on his third wife before I found out about this wrinkle, and it caused a hullaballoo.  A mock-horror hullaballoo, but a hullaballoo none the less. (you all should write out the word hullaballoo, it’s very satisfying.)

Video games are weird.  If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch a poker tournament on YouTube.  Hullaballoo!

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