so, that’s healthy

I’m sitting on my couch, running blast searches and filling in a table for a paper, and sobbing.

I have no idea why.

Possibly because I got railroaded by two pregnancy announcements this morning. Maybe because I’m a hormone-juiced emotion monster. Probably because I am genuinely sad about this whole infertility schtick, and I took a nice break over the weekend and then binged on blogs and forums and google searches when I got back to civilization, which was stupid. Really stupid, and I am going to try to stay away for a few days to reset.

Remember when I said I was an even-keeled, hard to ruffle person? That was, almost definitively now, my absent hormones and not my own sensibility. Annoying.

I’m at least making good progress on the table. That is all.

Edit: there is this funny thing in my family where we cry if we overheat.  I just ditched a blanket, and drank a giant glass of cold water.  Between posting my whininess and cooling off, I’m feeling much better.  Ha.

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4 thoughts on “so, that’s healthy

  1. thecommonostrich

    I weep whenever I want now. Why? BECAUSE I CAN. Letting it out is better than keeping it in.

    BTW, I’ve also found that I need to moderate my IF blog consumption every now and then. I do love the support of this here community, but sometimes it’s all a little overwhelming.

    Reply
    1. Jessica

      Completely agree. For me, it’s more of the IF forums, though. Whenever I see a BFP I get a little sad (had your tubes tied two years ago and now you’re pregnant? Wow, that’s just… awesome).

      The blogs bring me comfort oddly enough.

      Reply
      1. labmonkeyftw Post author

        Thanks ladies! I’m feeling better about life today, it was a weird emotional day on Wednesday. I’m just trying to roll with whatever comes my way these days. Crying jag? Sure, but afterwards, let’s make lunch. Crampy uterus? Cool, but if you could settle down before my jog this evening, that’d be ideal.

        Sometimes the IF blogs also make me feel that no pregnancy ever goes well, and I know that’s simply not true. So I am rationing them a bit now.

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