I’m at 7dpo, and I feel kinda weird, but I’m pretty darn sure that’s from the burrito I ate last night at 9 pm after running around chasing a plastic disc through the air for a few hours and not because of any burrowing foreign bodies in my uterus.
I am wrestling with myself today. Next cycle* should I take the break I said I would take, go on vacation, and just leave it be? OR should I take the letrozole that I have on file with my pharmacy, get another ovulation out of these bedraggled ovaries of mine, and give it another old fashioned try (as Pea and I will be abroad at the critical junction)?
Reasons for taking a break are as follows: I feel pretty done with letrozole, with the hair loss and the headache (though last cycle were better for both). I secretly hope I might ovulate all on my own. Reasons for not taking a break: waiting around in the hope I might ovulate sounds crazy-making of the genre I am all too familiar with after my 1.5 years of erratic or absent ovulations. I’ve got the drugs, might as well use them? I would have a set end of cycle for starting at the new clinic rather than a likely round of provera (which I hate for dizziness and cyst causing).
I think I would probably relax more if I DID take the drugs, as I’ve ovulated on cd14 three times in a row now and that reduces the uncertainty of timing an almost inconceivable amount (ha, intended). But then I am still really IN this, not “relaxing”.
I just don’t really think I am of the kind who can genuinely walk away from this. I’d still take my temperature and monitor my mucous, and I briefly pictured not bringing cheapo OPKs on our trip and freaked out a bit. Because I’d WANT TO KNOW. It is the blessing and curse of my analytically-trained brain.
I’m still looking at October for IVF, early September to start with the clinic (assuming it will take at least a month to get a ball rolling, though please ART folk, correct me if I am wrong in either direction with that guess).
*because I am still in the “there’s no chance this will work for me” mentality that I’ve been in since the beginning of this cycle. It may not be good in the sense of me not visualizing success, but it is good in that I am not at all emotionally fraught this month.