Beta #4 results are in – 80. Up from 79 two days ago.
Good things: We were right to cancel our trip because this isn’t resolved yet. The number didn’t really creep up again, and may have risen a bit and then dropped, with this the beginning of a decline. I found out that fertility treatments are associated with higher risks of ectopic pregnancies because many women have scarring or fibroids, etc., which have been preventing pregnancies (and which increase the likelihood the embryo will end up somewhere inappropriate). This style of infertility does not apply to me, so I’m back to the normal ectopic risks.
Bad things: The number didn’t drop, which would have been reassuring. Ectopic is still on the table, and I found a paper where 11% of burst tubes were in women with hcg levels below 100. So we will remain vigilant, but I’m less worried about ectopic now than I was two days ago.
I go back on Monday to increase my elbow crook bruise collection. Hopefully the number will have clearly declined by then. Ah irony, where now I wish for what I desperately warded against two days ago.
Until this all resolves, I’m shelving my current internal discussions. They are more depressing than is warranted, and entail decades-long scenarios where I emerge battle-hardened and barren.
My peeing on sticks for science is going to result in a truly hilarious picture (dark humor, but nonetheless). The upshot of which is: for the love of all that you value, do not place any of that value on the intensity of lines on tests.