back on the horse

A newspaper headline today reads ‘Jeb Bush sends 2016 signals’.  It’s still 2014, and I’ve been watching West Wing obsessively lately, and all I can say is the last year (now more like two!) of a second administration is an uphill slog for it not to just be a wash. I think the US needs to reign in its campaign rules (on so any levels, but on length of campaign specifically today).

I am just back from the clinic. I had a phone conversation with my doctor yesterday which was perfect: she is on board with more letrozole cycles (strongly encouraged it, in fact, before I could break in and say that was our plan). For this month, I had figured we’d just wait and see if I ovulated, and plan a provera course when I inevitably didn’t. My doctor had other plans, and asked me to come in for a baseline ultrasound. Her plan was if nothing was going on to just jump in on cd13 with letrozole and get this ball rolling.

I will admit this plan caught me by surprise, but it was reasonable and efficient, which are traits I like in a plan. It wasn’t until I caught the bus to get to the clinic this morning that I realized I might not be ready. I’m ready to try again, but I’m not ready to be at the clinic. I gathered my gumption and carried on.

The past few days I’ve felt like I’m gearing up to ovulate. I mentioned it to Pea, and he smiled, the unsaid ‘I’ve heard this before’ shared in the grin I shot back. For once, friends, I am not crazy or wishing signs into being. The ultrasound showed a developing lining (7.5 mm) and a dominant follicle on my left ovary of 14 mm, so I should ovulate within the week!

Here’s an undigested list of how I feel about this. Warning, this list is full of feeeeeelings.
– I am ovulating on my very own!!!!!  This has not happened since March 2013.  No jokes, this is pretty unexpected.
– Pea just left on a ten day business trip this morning. So this egg has to hurry up if it wants last night’s festivities to be in contention.
– this means no weird half-way-through-cycle drug start, and no first-cycle-back-from-a-stalled-cycle disregulation. It means we’d start at the clinic on a clean balanced day 1.  This makes me very happy.
– I get a break from the clinic
– probably this month is a wash, which seems like a waste of my very own egg, but maybe good given how despairing I felt getting on that bus this morning.

So it is opks through the weekend because I like data, and will need to know if I should progesterone support this LP.  I figure anything within 4 days of sex and I’ll use the progesterone, anything longer and I’ll just see what my unmedicated LP looks like (maybe it too has improved?).

I think there is no sense in deciding this is now my new normal.  I think I must plan to continue with the clinic, because the agony of waiting for an ovulation that is just. never. coming. is not one I care to revisit.  Callously, it’s not that expensive to get 3 eggs to try for instead of one by adding letrozole to the mix, and I am tired of waiting.

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2 thoughts on “back on the horse

  1. Turia

    I think that is a very good plan for a whole bunch of reasons, not least the fact that even if your new normal is ovulating (which would be amazing), they could still be crappy PCOS eggs. Using the drugs gives you a better chance to grow some good ones, no?

    I’m so glad you can do more IUI cycles. I think it makes so much sense to give that another shot, and medicated cycles means you won’t waste time wondering if you might ovulate. Also glad you are getting a break from the clinic- that will help too.

    Reply
  2. Haisla

    Well done for climbing back on the horse. It’s no mean feat after all you’ve been through. Am so glad that you don’t have to go back to the clinic again this cycle – hopefully it’ll give your heart some more time to mend..xx

    Reply

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