I have been eating more than normal in the past few weeks. I am sure this sounds familiar to most of you, the holidays being the panoply of big meals, alcohol, and celebratory mindset that they are (yes I SHOULD have that cookie!).

I’m back at work now, and finding it hard to mediate my stomach’s current expectations with my actual food available. I packed my normal lunch. It took active willpower not to eat it around 10 am. Now I’m trying to avoid eating my apple. It’s delicious.

I don’t need more food, but my stomach is very happy to have had more, and now expects more. So we’re in a renegotiation.

I’m also digesting the information from our IVF info session. It was useful, especially for Pea, but I’m not ready to wade into it here yet, as what I am desperately trying to keep my brain from doing is setting up a schedule in my head that will inevitably disappoint me.  I have to do a sonohysterogram. I have to take birth control prior to stimming. They may not be ok with the fact that I don’t titer like a chicken pox-immune person. The clinic is moving locations in the somewhat near future (to closer to me, but I’m not sure I want to be in the first wave of patients in a new space). I am worried about all of this. I cannot control any of this. I need to come to terms with it before I talk about it too much.

What I do want to do moving forward is find a real way to relax. I am taking suggestions!

For one of the first times in as far back as I can remember, ‘get back to running’ or ‘trim up a bit’ aren’t on my New Years Resolution radar. I’m below my ideal weight. I’ve lost those “pesky last five pounds”. My pants are too big, even after the holiday indulgences.  I did it by eating everything I normally eat and then some, not exercising, and instead shedding pounds through a healthful cocktail of intense prolonged stress and sporadic use of chemotherapy drugs to stimulate ovulation. So I don’t need to lose weight, and while I’m not as cardio-fit as I usually am, I’m still strong. What I need to do is calm the f**k down a bit, and possibly fluff up a bit to be a cushier potential host. I’m not really geared to either of those, but will be trying to achieve these in the next few weeks.


3 thoughts on “Digestion

  1. Haisla

    So excited that IVF is in the horizon for you!!

    Re: relaxation methods – I love my massages and acupuncture’s meant to be good too, although the thought of needles being stuck all over my body doesn’t sound like much fun to me.. I also tried meditating but found I got too easily distracted and annoyed with those guided meditation tapes. Massage so far is my favourite as well as doing yoga at home.. Hope you find something that works for you!x

  2. Turia

    I am with you on the stomach renegotiations. Mine is currently wondering where its accustomed 10 a.m. bowl of nuts and bolts is…

    The thing with IVF is it eats up a huge amount of time, but in the grand scheme of things, starting it a month or two later doesn’t really mean much. We did our last FET from the IUI/IVF conversion cycle in December 2009 and didn’t do the long protocol IVF (which was what worked) until August 2010. Once you hit IVF, there is no real rush, and it sounds like you could use a bit of time to process leaving IUIs and moving on.

    As for stress management, yoga worked very well for me in that period before we did the IVF (I was also running a lot, but that’s not the route you want to take). Discovering a new/old tv show and working through all the back episodes? Rereading comfort books?



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