Conversations with Pea, Part the night before vacation

Legitimate reason Pea and I are not yet married, nor have any plans to marry, despite being engaged for two years: visa conflicts, that will happily be resolved once we move back to Canuckia.

Underlying actual reason: conversations like this one, triggered by Pea having a conversation with his step-brother, who IS actively planning a wedding. We’ve ruled out a destination wedding, Pea thinks all weddings are a bad investment (I agree, but still think they are fun), and we both want something very nice, but not expensive (which I am less convinced is an actual possibility than Pea is).

Pea: We could get married in Ireland. No, Scotland!
Me: But that’s still a destination wedding. Can I wear a kilt?
Pea: On a moor – think how picturesque it would be. In the rain! We could give all our guests umbrellas.
Me: Tartan umbrellas. Because we are so Scottish. (we are not Scottish)
Pea: It would be tricky though, because we might lose some guests in the bog.
Me: Tricky because of the rain? Did you just say they would get lost in a bog?
Pea: It would be a risk.
Me: It would be distracting, what with the search parties, and the rain, and our wedding all at once. What if I fall in a bog?
Pea: We’ll tie a rope around you.
Me: And all the other people?
Pea: I can’t be holding ropes for everyone, they’ll have to sort it out themselves. We’ll just do a head count at the end.     pause    Maybe we could find a coal mine!
Me: I’m not wearing a white dress then.
Pea: It would be grey by the end.
Me: That’s why no white dress. Plus you’d be all smudged.
Pea: the photos would be black and white, so smudges would look good.
Me: Black and grey.

We’re off for a weekend of hiking in mountainous and desert areas. The deserts are forecast for rain, because every time we travel it rains. Granted, we often travel to lush green areas because of how arid Quirky Hilly City and environs has been, so it is generally entirely reasonable and somewhat the point. Desert thunderstorms seem like a pretty fun option too.

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