Today marks the official end of pregnancy number 2 – at 5w4d, it’s nearly identical to the last, except for the week of agonizing betas (an advantage to having only tested at the equivalent of 17dpo rather than 13dpo). That has made all the difference for me emotionally – I was never hoping/begging/rooting for this embryo to pick up the pace and turn viable, cajoling it from the outside. A beta at 12dp5dt of 12 was essentially the same as a negative (except maybe more hopeful, since the embryo did at least manage to implant. Or another warning sign? Hard to know.).
Honestly, the Monday of the test was a pretty bad day, but from then on, it’s been fine. We’ve been fine. We’re back to our usual silly selves, and had a nice weekend of general pottering about in the apartment and a hike through some city neighbourhoods (hike because Hilly Quirky City is, well, hilly).
I’m taking all my supplements. I’m eating protein like there’s no tomorrow. If this all goes to plan, timing-wise, we’ll be doing an egg retrieval before the Labour Day weekend. I’ll start birth control with that in mind on Wednesday.
We discussed it and decided pushing forward makes sense. It was either NOW or in about a year – once we are settled in new place. I’m on a diet I don’t like. I’ve been taking these supplements for months now. I have the time and the flexibility in my schedule right now, where I really might struggle once in my new position. We like our doctor and I really really like our nurse. It might be more expensive, slightly, than waiting to see what new insurance we have on offer, but, frankly, we might need that anyway. Better for me to keep going – if this cycle totally fails, with dismal quality again, then I will WANT a year break rather than feeling like one is imposed on me. If it all fails, we might not come back, and if this chapter is closing, I’d rather it was done with earlier. Plus, as we all know, my eggs are getting older along with me. I’m 33. I’m still ‘young’, but my eggs act like they are not. Best to catch them sooner, I think.