and in other news

I am driving myself completely insane symptom spotting. I had to have a long talking-to with myself yesterday morning after being devastated that my boobs were not at all sore. It was 8dp3dt, so 11 days post-o. It is still SO EARLY.

I have been very thirsty the past four days or so. Yesterday afternoon there was the scantest of spotting, and yesterday afternoon was also a crampapalooza in my uterus. I vacillate wildly on whether I feel optimistic or not. It is not healthy, and I am doing my best to stay rational, but I am largely failing.

The most insidious thing that I do is to compare these early symptoms with my other pregnancies. Which, I will remind us all (but mostly ME, listen up ME), never hit a beta above 100, AND had totally different phenotypes. I have NO IDEA what a healthy early pregnancy feels like, even putting aside the oft mentioned ‘every pregnancy felt totally different’.

Beta is Friday. I am currently thinking I will test on Wednesday, at a nice healthy 14 dpo, and with only two progesterone shots to suffer through needlessly should it be negative. Now is too early for a negative not to mess with my head, and for the number of grumpy needles to follow. I currently don’t think I can wait til Friday, I will lose what of my mind I have left, but if I gain stamina I will try to hold off on testing… since for me, two lines aren’t really the beginning anymore.


4 thoughts on “and in other news

  1. Turia

    I have been know to pinch my breasts to see if they are sore and then (of course) they are, because I PINCHED them.

    It is the WORST. The worst. Beyond anything else, the last week of a tww is an invitation to crazy town.

    Honestly, I would try really really hard not to test. If you get two lines, it’s meaningless without the beta to tell you that this time things are different. But if you see the two lines, even though you will rationally know you need to wait for the beta, it will be so much harder to stop your mind from fast forwarding to the wanted outcome. Just my two cents. I hate hpts- for me they are a much worse mind fuck than waiting for the phone call after the beta.

    1. labmonkeyftw Post author

      I’m trying to see if I am having more of an anxiety attack about a yes/no than I will about a strong enough/too weak line head game. Obviously a negative negates the anxiety, so that’s one reason I often test early.
      I’m having nightmares (ah yes, the stress-induced dream disruption, I too know it well), so I think I will probably test tomorrow.

    1. labmonkeyftw Post author

      I’ve gotten obsessed with the show Girls and the show Parks and Rec… not a hobby, but at least a distraction!
      The waiting is killing me. I do not ever seem to get better at this.


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