Pea convinced me yesterday to wait til the beta rather than peeing on a stick. He’s trying to keep me from stressing out, and I agree, it’s probably the best choice at this point.

I’m now completely convinced I am pregnant, but I am worried I am either (a) not pregnant enough, again, or (b) actually not pregnant and in store for a sincere disappointment.

One more day. This tww has been the WORST of my IF career, I am not sure why. Maybe because it is so hot here that it is impossible to do anything but sit around and worry. Thank you for bearing with my constant obsessing and worrying!


4 thoughts on “waiting

  1. rainbowgoblin

    When I was pregnant with Tommy, I waited until my period was well over a week late before I even told Steffen anything, then waited several more days before peeing on a stick because I was so worried to get my hopes up. I was 8 weeks before I managed to see my doc for a blood test, and I still worried that it might be something else (cancer, maybe? ) Ditto at the 13 week ultrasound.

    I guess what I’m saying is that Pea is right, given your history with peeing on sticks, but I suspect you’ll drive yourself equally crazy regardless. My heart goes out to you, this part sucks!

    1. labmonkeyftw Post author

      It is funny how uncertainty can be awful and preferable at the same time. Were you then extraordinarily surprised to see Tommy as a bean on the ultrasound screen? Oh, a baby! Might’ve been the kitchen sink, hard to know. 🙂
      I’m sad that I’m not showing better fortitude this time around, but it’s harder this time. I think it is actually because the embryos were better quality, so I think they SHOULD have a chance. The last two cycles I didn’t have a lot of hope for them to begin with. Hope is so necessary and so hard.

      1. rainbowgoblin

        With Miso I definitely had a “holy shit, there’s a baby in there!” reaction at the ultrasound. With Tommy I had really convinced myself that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat, so my relief when we heard one trumped the shock that there was a baby.

        I’m sure you’re right that feeling like there’s a solid chance this could be it is what’s making it so hard this time.

  2. Turia

    I was going to comment that it is likely worse this time because they were good embryos so you knew you had a good chance and therefore the stakes are higher. But I see you have reached that conclusion already.

    One more sleep!


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