purgatory continues

Beta today was 150. So my body is clearing the hcg at about the same rate it is being produced BUT it is STILL BEING PRODUCED.

Also my last progesterone shot was Tuesday night, and no sign of menses (my usual is the third day post-progesterone, so this is only a wee bit slow… so far.)

The lack of beta lowering and the lack of blood means my clinic is changing our Monday failed-cycle-follow-up appointment into an ultrasound. To hunt for something that, unless it is very poorly attached to my bloodstream, is too small to see.  Sounds fun.

My hopes, in order.
1) for my insides to not suddenly explode.
2) for my period to arrive
3) for the beta to drop significantly on Monday

I think the ultrasound will be useless, so I would hope it showed something in an appropriate location, but I really think if it is going to show anything at all, it’s going to be worse news than a miscarriage.

I live permanently in a state of dread and stress. Next week is a brutal one, work-wise, and I’m already bursting into stress tears at small upsets now. Fun times!

*************************************

Conversation with Pea, making dinner last night:

Pea: Oh, we are out of thyme. holds up empty spice bottle
Me: We’ll have to hurry everywhere now.
Pea: No, we’ll have to curry.
Me: I don’t know why I hang out with you, you are terrible.
Pea: Is it because I always get carroway?

It is not all doom and gloom.

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2 thoughts on “purgatory continues

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