the least shitty option of all the shitty options

Today Pea and I went for the ‘let’s hunt for an ectopic pregnancy’ ultrasound. It was, as I expected, useless. I guess if this was ectopic and it was poorly attached, then it could have been big enough to see, but in all other cases, a beta of 150 is too low for anything to be visible no matter where it was.

Anyway, the ultrasound showed nothing on/in my tubes, and a thin uterine lining with some fluid in my uterus.

The options we were given were (assuming the beta was plateaued or rising) to come in tomorrow for aspiration of my uterine lining (not quite a D&C, a less comprehensive clearing) following which if the beta still did not drop, a shot of methotrexate. The clinic also has a trial going for this exact plateaued-beta situation where you are randomized into either (a) do nothing, (b) this aspiration thing, or (c) methotrexate right off the bat. We said we would wait for the beta, and then decide. At lunch we decided we’d do the aspiration, because doing nothing was too annoying, and avoiding methotrexate if possible is good, and if the beta DID drop from that, we’d know it wasn’t ectopic.*

The beta came back at 118, down from 150 and making the decision moot. Also, unless this is just a very aggravated cervix from the ultrasound wand, my period has arrived. I go back Wednesday to see if the beta drops more aggressively, after which I can make these visits to the blood lab less frequent**.

More later on how I am feeling (weird. sad. relieved. angry. worried. crampy.). It seems somewhat safe to say this is on its way out, naturally and without requirement for more intervention. Knock wood that this follows through to zero.

* I would normally love to help out in a scientific study, but in this case, the added information re: ectopic or not that the aspiration would have provided was too important. We thought about signing up and seeing if we were assigned that option, but that seemed pretty callous.

** my nurse’s comment on my frequent betas: “don’t drink too much water, or you will start sprinkling out all of the holes in your elbows.”  She’s an odd one, but I like her.


2 thoughts on “the least shitty option of all the shitty options

  1. Haisla

    I’m so sorry it has come to this, but relieved that the hcg level is dropping on its own accord. I really hope you won’t need any further interventions. I am so sad for you. This is just so unfair.xx


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