on timing, part III

In conversation with my father, visiting for the weekend, I described our timeline for a FET.

His only comment, said wryly: “Oh, so right when you are moving from Hilly Quirky and into a new house if you’ve bought one. Nice and low stress.”

He’s not wrong. It’s not a low stress time.

We can’t do a FET earlier because it would really screw up my career and I wouldn’t be eligible for benefits surrounding the pregnancy/leave.

We can do a FET later, but we’d be without a hub in Hilly Quirky, and without insurance*.

We might have to do four FETs**, and we really do need to start them at some point.

But still, it gave me pause. I’ve still got a sore jaw from clenching it at night, and am now sleeping erratically if not actually poorly. I’m almost one month into being a professor, and I can’t see this job ever being particularly low stress.  So I will see what I can do about carving out some happier space in my weeks leading up to this FET. It will serve me well regardless of outcome.


* Golden company revised their medical options and as a result we have a new $10,000 we can apply to fertility, but it has to be before April when Pea leaves Hilly Quirky. We’ll get one free FET out of it, which is nice.

** I am now scared of twins where one is ectopic, and am having a really hard time with the idea of transferring two. I’m still ok with the risk of uterine twins, but the ectopic fear is deep seated and may well win. Pea has been against transferring two this entire time, so it’ll be an easy discussion, I think.

3 thoughts on “on timing, part III

  1. Haisla

    Yay for one free FET!! Even though the timing might not be ideal, I think it’s still worth a shot. Carving out some happier space sounds like a great idea. What will that consist of?x

    1. labmonkeyftw Post author

      Definitely worth a shot!
      A good question – I’m not sure. Trying to prioritize work in a way that lets me feel relaxed about progress (so, saying no to some things, and blocking big chunks of time for my projects), more yoga, finding a gym, and trying to get to bed earlier (though that is hard with Pea three hours behind and us trying to chat often).

  2. Turia

    You are so right in that the professor job will never, ever be low stress. It’s just not that type of job.

    How is your dental coverage? I recommend highly getting a mouth guard. It has completely fixed all my jaw problems from my stress-related clenching. It’s magical! Helped Q. a ton too.


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