Today we signed up for a housekeeping service, as well as a lawn mowing service. These are things we could do around the house, but which we dislike doing and which we occasionally have conflict around. Pea and I so rarely have conflict that this stands out. Pea would have had a housekeeper years ago, but I balked because, while we could afford it, I could not afford it, which was a semantic difference that loomed large in my mind.
I have elitist guilt surrounding having services come to my home and take care of routine chores. This is misplaced, but very common, and, interestingly, mostly common in women. Certainly Pea does not have this guilt.
I am pre-tenure. I am pregnant. Pea and I are both very allergic to cut grass. We have a big house and a big lawn, and we work long hours.We have no shortage of things we would rather be doing with the free time we have. We make enough money and live in a cheap enough area that we can easily afford these services (mortgage, house insurance, property taxes, utilities, internet, AND these services are still clocking in at less than 60% of our rent in Hilly Quirky).
I eventually rationalized these services by deciding that if we have the income that we do, it is only fair to redistribute some of that money to local businesses. In the end, that was the only argument that allowed me to let go of my guilt over not “doing it all”.