Labour story – coming. I find I am blurry on details. Just yesterday I suddenly remembered I’d laboured in the tub for a while (awful, nowhere to go when contracting, standing up was preferred).
Labour results: Spud, obviously! The true prize. Also second degree tearing/episiotomy, a hemorrhage, hemorrhoids, and a good case of shock. I shook for about an hour after birth, deep jarring tremors. Now that those ailments are clamouring less and less, I am pretty sure I have bruised or dislocated my tailbone. It is SO sore, and I remember feeling it pop at one point. Swelling from the above and the 3.5 hours of pushing has left me incontinent (hopefully temporarily), so Spud is not the only one who is rocking diapers around the house.
I am daily more mobile and less sore. I was not prepared for the recovery process to be quite so intense. It feels like every minute I am not caring for Spud, I have self-care to do to heal, or sleep is desperately needed. This is all getting better, which is encouraging.
I have been struggling with a sense of unreality. Spud is not who I expected. I do not know who I expected, most likely no baby at all. He is exactly who he should be, but I find the existence of this tiny human to be mind boggling. At the same time, it felt entirely normal immediately for him to exist. It is a strange state.
Watching Pea with Spud causes my heart to fill dangerously close to exploding. Pea is fantastic with Spud, and has been a hero taking care of us both.
This sounds perhaps more grim than it is – I am very very happy. I am whole, and Spud is here. Everything else will come out in the wash, not unlike the gallons of poo Spud has deposited seemingly anywhere except his diapers.
What a difference a week makes.