Conversations with Pea, part the next

Pea is quiet in groups. He’s much chattier one-on-one, but even then his words are careful. So when Pea says something, people tend to pay attention.

Me: listing home repairs we have effected while I’m home all day oh and we replaced the garage door opener so now I can leave the house in one motion rather than having to drive the car out, then come back through the house to get Spud and close all the doors.

My uncle: Did they do all the safety checks? Did you test them?

Pea: Yes! We used the baby!

My uncle: ???!

Pea: Well, that is what we’d want the door to bounce on..*


Me: getting passport photos for a two month old was a ridiculous process, my goodness.

Good friend: Well, and the passport is valid for two years! In two years that could be any baby!

Pea: it is ok, it will probably take us longer than two years to radicalize him**.


Pea: what do you have on today?

Me: I am skyping with a good friend, and with my dad. The cleaners are coming. And I haven’t done any work in four days so some stuff has built up that I need to deal with.

Pea: I can help with your work. I don’t want you getting stressed out.

Me: it is ok, I am not stressed about it, all of it could wait if it needed to.

Pea: I could respond to your emails! I would say “This is [labmonkey]’s email response system. Thank you for your email. [Labmonkey] is unable to respond at this time, so please leave a message –

Me: interrupting, laughing they did leave a message! That’s how this started!

Pea: well, I would buy you some time***
* we did not test the garage door opener safety settings on our child

** we are not radicalizing our child, aside from “making decisions based on facts and empathy to others” being a somewhat radical point of view these days

*** I have not put an out-of-office message reply on my email. I perhaps should. Or employ Pea!

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