Conversations with Pea, part the next

Last night, eating dinner

Me: Ooh, I wonder if the chemical in asparagus goes through breastmilk? Would Spud’s pee smell like asparagus?
Pea: I’m not sure! We can find out tomorrow!

This morning, in bed for a family cuddle

Me: Spud’s pee did not smell like asparagus. I’m oddly disappointed.
Spud: A-boo! Wooo! Blurgle!
Pea: to Spud (Gus): You are not asparagus! You are an essential Gus!


Driving home from a baby shower, Pea is poking on his phone

Pea: They make ventless dryers! They are more efficient.
Me: That would solve our vent problem, the 25 feet of venting is one of my main worries for a house fire in our house*.

Long conversation about dryers and washers ensues, followed by a long pause

Me: If I am gallivanting off next weekend to watch a movie with my sisters, is there anything you would like to do for you? I think we’ve kinda got this baby-taking-care-of thing under a semblance of control, and we can maybe prioritize us, as a couple and as individuals, a bit more this month?
Pea: We can get it in chrome shadow! Oooh!
Me: … Do you want me to drop you off at a store where you can fondle appliances for a while?
Pea: No, they are closed by now. sad face


Pea paces around the house in anticipation of his first driving lesson.

Me (nursing Spud): are you nervous?
Pea: Yah!
Me: Want a cuddle? You can come scootch over here for a cuddle.
Pea: No, then I can’t pace.
Me: Yes, exactly.


Pea: Did you see E.’s train LEGO set? It is so cool! I want to get a big LEGO set!
Me: E. worked hard for that! He had to have so many good days!
Pea: Have I had enough good days? winning smile
Me: Of course, you are great. You make us bread, and settle Spud, and you have a cute butt. You should have all the LEGO you want.
Pea: spends next twenty minutes showing me various giant LEGO sets excitedly on his phone


Me: (drinking a glass of red wine) Red wine makes me cry!
Pea: What do you mean?
Me: Every time I have a glass of red wine, it makes me all teary. For instance, last time, I was in the kitchen, and I was thinking about how great a dad you were, and voice wobbles I got all teary
Pea: are you crying right now?
Me: No! sniffle

A week later
Pea: Here are the groceries for the stew! Oh, and I bought you some wine that won’t make you cry. Brandishes a bottle of white wine.
Me: Oh great!


* Literally every appliance in our house is aged, broken, inefficient, or some combination of the three. Usually a combination. Except the ones we have replaced. It is a not-so-gradual process of renewal.


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