Also not surprising

Week one of Pea’s paternity leave is done, and it comes as no surprise to me that he is rocking this gig.

Spud figured out the sippy cup, and has been matching in consumption what I’ve been bringing home. Someone commented on my earlier sad post about pumping and feeding and failing that Spud would be a different baby in a few weeks, and lo! He is indeed a different baby. One who chugs breast milk from sippy cups. Now the main challenge in feeding him is that he wants to hold the cup, but does not understand angles and supply yet.

Spud and Pea had their first bigger outing together, coming to my work for a baby shower my colleagues threw. Pea was nervous about timings, but it all went smoothly and Spud handled shortened naps and an avalanche of admirers with aplomb. They are set to be grand adventurers from now on in.

I reeeeeaaaaallllly struggled in the early weeks of my mat leave. And the middle weeks. And let’s face it, the later weeks as well. I had a hard time balancing work and home, and, when ignoring work, railed against the feeling of being a home-maker. So I’ve been checking in on Pea with empathy and love, daily, to see how he’s doing with this transition. A key difference between us is that we are at exact opposite ends of the extrovert/introvert continuum, and one thing I found hard that Pea instead enjoys is the absence of daily chatter with multiple people.

Today Pea made bread and our breakfast granola. He swept and picked mulberries and dumped the dishwasher. He’s picked out some new placemats because we only have four. Spud took an epic nap, and Pea was disconcerted because it meant he couldn’t predict bedtime from the spreadsheet he’s built to track Spud’s awake periods and naps*. When I checked in with him about how he was feeling, his main worry was “what if I decide I like this more than my work?”, to which I not-so-fliply replied “nannies are expensive”. Meaning if we didn’t need one, we’d make it work. We could, I think.

Before we had a kid, early in our life cohabiting, Pea had said he’d like to be a house husband once I won my Nobel**. May I say, after one week, that having a house husband is flipping amazing? It is the best.

All this to say I am so grateful for Pea taking this time, and so very pleased he’s enjoying it. It remains early days, and Spud only threw one really frustrating day at Pea (and ta da! TWO teeth!), but so far so good and I’m happier and less anxious than I’ve been in ages***.

* absolutely nothing in that sentence surprises me and I love every bit of it

** a steadfast belief, nay, expectation of Pea’s, despite there being no category for my work within those illustrious prizes.

*** edited to add some of this delirium of goodwill stems from Spud sleeping 11-5:30 last night, the first time I’ve had more than 3 hours in a stretch in a month.

3 thoughts on “Also not surprising

  1. Jill

    So glad Pea is enjoying is time with Spud! I understand how he’s feeling, as frustrating and crazy as my days can sometimes be, personally I enjoy staying home with my kids more than I’ve enjoyed any other job I’ve ever had. But what I’ve learned since having kids, that it’s definitely not for everyone!! (Though the people who call me “lazy” for not working, is like to see them try it for a couple days!)

    I hope his time home with Spud continues to be enjoyable for all 3 of you!

    1. labmonkeyftw Post author

      Being at home caring for small children is anything but lazy! I really love that both Pea and I will have had some time at home, so we both understand what it is like, and what Spud’s needs are.


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