Category Archives: Uncategorized

and… Action!

Spud has learned verbs. All in a burst, we went from colours and objects in phrases to proper (if short) sentences.

Dig Mama! Dig Dada! (accompanied by furious digging on our knees with a plastic shovel)

No dig Mama! No eat Mama! (accompanied by shovel-waving, mock toe-nibbling, and giggles)

Watch cars! (“wak car!”) as Spud belines out the front door to sit, plonk!, on the front step so he can count blue cars going by on the busy road the block over. “ONE blue car! ONE red car! TWO black truck! No blue car! NO BLUE CAR! …. ONE blue car!” (ONE is always SHOUTED)

Getting ready for bed comes with demands to “Park cars! Park green yellow mixer! pick books! read books! read more books!”

He’s memorized a book of opposites, and now demands “In out! In out!” to be put in or taken out of high chairs, cribs, and other baby containment devices.

Spud has matched this new action-packed vocabulary with an equally action-packed mentality. He is suddenly very very busy. He’s much less interested in snuggles unless there are new library books, and he’s a constant ball of motion if not constrained in one of the aforementioned containment options.

It’s fun. He’s fun.

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Whirlwind in the sheets

About once every few days.
Pea: coming to bed Where is the sheet? Which corner is this? This is YOUR corner! What is happening?
Me: in bed for a lil bit already. I have no idea what you are talking about.

*****************

Me: While you were gone, I somehow managed to short-sheet myself! It was so hilarious!  I got into bed and I could only put my feet down halfway! I had to kick and kick to get the sheet sorted out.
Pea: I am not surprised. Horrified, but not surprised.

*****************

Pea: Last night there was no sheet! None!
Me: There was a sheet, I had a sheet.
Pea: I could not find it. It was lost in the abyss.
Aggrieved pause.
Me: You love me and my bed tornado ways.
Pea: I love you in spite of your bed tornado ways.

*****************

In Europe.
Pea: See, when we each have our own blanket, everyone is ok with the blankets at night.
Me: I don’t like it, it is hard to come find you at night if I wake up. I have to cross the cold “no blanket” zone.
Pea: Bring your blanket! What are you going to do when you get over here, steal my blanket?!
Me: ….

*****************

Today, making the bed together

Pea: I have a lot on my side, you should pull your edge a bit more.
Me: It’s ok, when I get in, I’ll just roll it over to my side a bit.
Pea: We should have two blankets.
Pea: Pointing at guest room We HAVE two blankets! We should use both blankets.
Me: We can’t use two queen/king size blankets on one bed! We’d never be able to find each other. makes flailing wildly under blankets gestures
Pea: speechless.

Not applicable

Pea and I, at dinner, watching Spud pile all of the food on his tray into his cup, triumphantly chirp “hot soup!”, and then aggressively slurp it all up. Spud then demands another chunk of my garlic bread, which he dips into the cup of water before eating it, like a perfectly civilized raccoon.

Me: You know, there are all these articles scolding mothers not to eat their kids leftovers, to help with “losing the baby weight”.

Spud starts a new round of soup, burping mid-way through his menu announcement.

Me: I feel like they are missing the articles where your kid eats half your dinner and grosses you out of eating the other half.

Pea: Hmmm.

Lab book update: I am 9 dpo and forcing myself to remember that the vast majority of early pregnancy symptoms are from progesterone, which your body is making regardless. My temp is sky high, which is a huge improvement from pre-Spud cycles. My first LP was 14 days long, so if this one were to be similar, it wouldn’t be time for a temp drop yet. I have set a boundary to only POAS at 12 dpo and only if my temp remains high.

I am remembering how annoying the two week wait is, but have so far been able to mostly ignore it thanks to the crushing amount of work that has avalanched onto me at the start of semester. It will be a working weekend, my uterus will just have to do what it’s doing without my tense observation.

Disgruntled PI

Me loftily: I don’t care when or where my students work, they are adults and I refuse to clock-watch.

Also me: Where TF is everyone? Why is there no-one in my lab ever?

 

I may need to revise my policies, because while I believe working from home can be incredibly productive, I think it loses its advantages when done too often. Also my lab dynamic is important to me. Also they are losing out on their colleagues’ knowledge and help. Also sometimes I need people who I can ask to move stuff with me.

It is also the end of term and everything on campus is closed, so they may be working from home out of fear of starvation… so I will see what happens in September when classes and TAships recommence.

ungenerous

I have gotten up with Spud in the mornings for the last bajillion days, and now I don’t have to, because I’m not nursing him.

It is unfair to want Pea to get up with Spud for 17 months to balance this out*.

Sometimes I want unfair things, especially at 7 am on a Monday.

 

 

 

* Pea has stepped up a lot, and gets Spud in the morning about half the time now. We have a time-share deal for weekends where there aren’t two full mornings for sleep-ins – Pea gets Spud for a chunk of time, and then trades with me, because he can go back to sleep after playing with a toddler for over an hour, and I usually can’t. It is a good system. I am tired and cranky today. Case in point, this morning Spud slept til 7:30 AND Pea went and got him, so I’m being ungenerous.

 

lab book update; FET 2018

Progesterone: 0.5
Estrogen: 342
Luteinizing hormone: 9*

Ovulation: semi-imminent, likely early next week unless my estrogen levels are low-ish side of normal, in which case, possibly this weekend. Or possibly a gear-up and fail, and endless purgatory. Hopefully not that.

What this means for a FET in mid-October remains to be seen. I have no idea. Certainly it means no sonogram til cycle day 1, and some concerted snuggles with Pea over the next few days. I dusted off my thermometer this morning and started temping to keep track of things.

Catching eggs in the wild! Something we have not tried in a long time, if ever!**

 

* Why don’t doctors provide units? What use are these numbers to me? (Pretty sure they are all pmol/ml)
** I’m not counting medicated cycles with intercourse, because they were monitored. I genuinely cannot remember ovulating naturally at a time that we also tried to conceive. Maybe once post-miscarriage #3 and pre-Spud FET?

Timeline tricksiness

I missed a call three weeks ago. It wouldn’t be a big deal to miss a call, but this was our intake appointment with the fertility clinic in Hilly Quirky, and it took me 15 minutes to get through their reception system when calling back, at which point I’d lost our window with our doctor. We rescheduled the call for Tuesday this week.

I shouldn’t have missed those calls (my doctor tried twice). I was working on a figure for a paper, and I was totally absorbed, and my phone is always on silent. I should have flipped it to “noisy” earlier in the day when I was thinking about it, but I hate my phone impeding on my concentration.

Following our phone call, here’s the current plan for our FET in October to capitalize on us already being in Hilly Quirky. It’s…. tight, and likely to completely fail.

  1. I go for estrogen and progesterone blood work tomorrow to determine where I am at in my cycle, as I am cycle day 19 today*
  2. If my ovaries are nicely dormant still, I go on the pill to down-regulate them, and stay on it til the FET active timeline in early October
  3. In the meantime, I also go get a saline sonohysterogram (ouch!), to make sure pregnancy didn’t eff up my womb
  4. Once blood work, sonogram, and pill are in place, my clinic in Hilly Quirky will set up a calendar and schedule the transfer and provide the prescription plan

I need to be on the pill by the beginning of September (achievable).
I need to have the sonogram done around the same time, or at least with enough time for Lupron to start pre-FET, so mid-September latest (achievable? No idea wait times, but should be fine?).
I need my ovaries to currently be cooperating (I genuinely don’t think they are. There are rumblings, my friends, and a shift in the past four days from nothing much to distinctly egg-white. I have a familiar tautness building today across my abdomen, so I think I’m gearing up to ovulate. Which is amazing!)

I am mentally prepared for the blood work to come back with me 3-5 days out from ovulating, which will potentially kaibosh the entire FET. It might also still work – I’d have to wait til cycle day 1 (mid Sept) to do the sonogram, but there would still be enough time (I think?) to do a FET? I’ve never had a calendar that worked with a natural cycle, so I’m unclear on the timelines.

Honestly, if it doesn’t work out because my cycle is back and semi-regular, I am totally ok with trying for a few months and then planning a FET for winter 2019 sometime. I would love a few more months where my body is not actively providing for another’s. I only weaned Spud three weeks ago, and I’m not mentally excited about ceding that independence to a fetus so quickly.

 

* Friends, I ovulated! Right when I thought I would! I then had a 14 day LP, the longest unmedicated LP I have ever experienced! I’m pretty excited that it looks like my body is going to try again, this is unprecedented.