I find myself in a strange blog spot (and I’m not even on BlogSpot, heyyyo!). When I started this blog, I found a dozen or so interesting fellow bloggers who were in similar spots to me, either in life, or fertility pursuits, or some other connection. There are a few professional blogs I’ve followed for years. Over the time of this blog, I’ve added a few new voices to my reader.
My reader is near silent these days. Even of my professional blogs, only one is really still active. In part this is happy, because many of my infertility friends are now overwhelmed in the glee of parenting, several with newborns.
I still have things to say, and I have new voices reading what I write (judging from comments), but I do not see blogs associated with many of my readers! So, if you are out there, and you’re writing somewhere for the world to see, hit me up with your link, I’d love to follow along with your journey. If you have blogs that you love, please share!
In general news here, September was so insanely busy that it took me a week of October to get my head on straight again. Spud is freaking hilarious all the time lately, but may be teething his 2-year old molars characteristically early. We leave on Wednesday for Hilly Quirky (yay!!). I thought I was going to ovulate and set Pea and I on a marathon that we are deeply unsuited for. I have actually ovulated again, this time on day 26 (up from day 21, despite limiting dairy to see if I could speed things up). We had reasonable timing this time despite my over-eager anticipation of ovulation. I think I have endometriosis based on general pain all the time, and I bought a diva cup for my next day 1 because disposable options were just not cutting it.
Anyone else using a menstrual cup? Tips and tricks for a newbie?
Spud has gotten less interested in lullabies, squirming and preferring to waddle around the room in his sleepsack. He’d rather we read him “more books!”, endlessly through to dawn. Because his lullabies have become rather more of a wrestling match, I have cut them to one in the past two weeks.
Tonight, Spud was unusually clingy and grumpy. I was on bath-and-bed, so we read our standard two books, and then I offered him “Hush Little Baby or Blackbird?”
I sang him his lullaby while he (uncharacteristically, now) snuggled on my shoulder. As he was relaxed and sleepy, I put him in his crib.
“No Mama! Too huan! Too huan!”
“Are you too hot? No. Too what, love?”
Spud: continues to whine-cry in his “but this is all wrong” way
Me: he was saying “Too huan”. Do you know what huan is?
Pea: I think it was “two songs”
Me: Ah, shoot!! That’s exactly what it was. Drat, of course he can have two songs.
Me: hello little love. Would you like Blackbird or All my loving?
Spud: ah ny muvvin!
Me: sings guiltily
Spud has learned verbs. All in a burst, we went from colours and objects in phrases to proper (if short) sentences.
Dig Mama! Dig Dada! (accompanied by furious digging on our knees with a plastic shovel)
No dig Mama! No eat Mama! (accompanied by shovel-waving, mock toe-nibbling, and giggles)
Watch cars! (“wak car!”) as Spud belines out the front door to sit, plonk!, on the front step so he can count blue cars going by on the busy road the block over. “ONE blue car! ONE red car! TWO black truck! No blue car! NO BLUE CAR! …. ONE blue car!” (ONE is always SHOUTED)
Getting ready for bed comes with demands to “Park cars! Park green yellow mixer! pick books! read books! read more books!”
He’s memorized a book of opposites, and now demands “In out! In out!” to be put in or taken out of high chairs, cribs, and other baby containment devices.
Spud has matched this new action-packed vocabulary with an equally action-packed mentality. He is suddenly very very busy. He’s much less interested in snuggles unless there are new library books, and he’s a constant ball of motion if not constrained in one of the aforementioned containment options.
It’s fun. He’s fun.
About once every few days.
Pea: coming to bed Where is the sheet? Which corner is this? This is YOUR corner! What is happening?
Me: in bed for a lil bit already. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Me: While you were gone, I somehow managed to short-sheet myself! It was so hilarious! I got into bed and I could only put my feet down halfway! I had to kick and kick to get the sheet sorted out.
Pea: I am not surprised. Horrified, but not surprised.
Pea: Last night there was no sheet! None!
Me: There was a sheet, I had a sheet.
Pea: I could not find it. It was lost in the abyss.
Me: You love me and my bed tornado ways.
Pea: I love you in spite of your bed tornado ways.
Pea: See, when we each have our own blanket, everyone is ok with the blankets at night.
Me: I don’t like it, it is hard to come find you at night if I wake up. I have to cross the cold “no blanket” zone.
Pea: Bring your blanket! What are you going to do when you get over here, steal my blanket?!
Today, making the bed together
Pea: I have a lot on my side, you should pull your edge a bit more.
Me: It’s ok, when I get in, I’ll just roll it over to my side a bit.
Pea: We should have two blankets.
Pea: Pointing at guest room We HAVE two blankets! We should use both blankets.
Me: We can’t use two queen/king size blankets on one bed! We’d never be able to find each other. makes flailing wildly under blankets gestures
Pea and I, at dinner, watching Spud pile all of the food on his tray into his cup, triumphantly chirp “hot soup!”, and then aggressively slurp it all up. Spud then demands another chunk of my garlic bread, which he dips into the cup of water before eating it, like a perfectly civilized raccoon.
Me: You know, there are all these articles scolding mothers not to eat their kids leftovers, to help with “losing the baby weight”.
Spud starts a new round of soup, burping mid-way through his menu announcement.
Me: I feel like they are missing the articles where your kid eats half your dinner and grosses you out of eating the other half.
Lab book update: I am 9 dpo and forcing myself to remember that the vast majority of early pregnancy symptoms are from progesterone, which your body is making regardless. My temp is sky high, which is a huge improvement from pre-Spud cycles. My first LP was 14 days long, so if this one were to be similar, it wouldn’t be time for a temp drop yet. I have set a boundary to only POAS at 12 dpo and only if my temp remains high.
I am remembering how annoying the two week wait is, but have so far been able to mostly ignore it thanks to the crushing amount of work that has avalanched onto me at the start of semester. It will be a working weekend, my uterus will just have to do what it’s doing without my tense observation.
Me loftily: I don’t care when or where my students work, they are adults and I refuse to clock-watch.
Also me: Where TF is everyone? Why is there no-one in my lab ever?
I may need to revise my policies, because while I believe working from home can be incredibly productive, I think it loses its advantages when done too often. Also my lab dynamic is important to me. Also they are losing out on their colleagues’ knowledge and help. Also sometimes I need people who I can ask to move stuff with me.
It is also the end of term and everything on campus is closed, so they may be working from home out of fear of starvation… so I will see what happens in September when classes and TAships recommence.
I have gotten up with Spud in the mornings for the last bajillion days, and now I don’t have to, because I’m not nursing him.
It is unfair to want Pea to get up with Spud for 17 months to balance this out*.
Sometimes I want unfair things, especially at 7 am on a Monday.
* Pea has stepped up a lot, and gets Spud in the morning about half the time now. We have a time-share deal for weekends where there aren’t two full mornings for sleep-ins – Pea gets Spud for a chunk of time, and then trades with me, because he can go back to sleep after playing with a toddler for over an hour, and I usually can’t. It is a good system. I am tired and cranky today. Case in point, this morning Spud slept til 7:30 AND Pea went and got him, so I’m being ungenerous.